Why do Leaders Praise the Effort and not the Talent?

Effort is the Key to Success - not Talent

Why not praise the talent but the effort?

               Do you label yourself, your loved ones, your friends, family, Children? Well, if you love them, stop doing it. Labels could be positive – Smart, Intelligent, Talented, or it could be negative – Dumb, Idiot, etc.  Research shows if you label people – be it negative or positive – it harms them.

               In a research, a group of students was divided into two groups. They were given a few tasks. After completing the tasks – regardless of how they performed, the first group was praised for their abilities. – “Wow you scored eighty. Good. You must be a smart kid.”

               The second group was instead praised for its effort. “Wow, you got Eighty. It is a very good score. You must have worked really hard.” The second group was not made to feel they were special. They were praised for what it takes to succeed.

                The groups which were exactly the same at the start, started to differ after the praise. The First Group that was praised for its talent, when presented with new tasks, rejected the challenging new tasks that would help them learn and grow.  Of the students who were praised for the effort, 90 % of them picked up the challenging tasks that they could learn from.

“Effort-Based Praise: We should focus on the effort and not on the talent”

Let us understand the above topic with an example

Maya and Alia were good Friends. They were in the 4th standard. Both of them were good at Maths. In the Final exam of the 4th Standard, Maya scored 90 and Alia scored 80. Well, that’s a good score both of them must have worked hard. But the treatment both got from their parents was different.

“Very good Maya, you are good at maths. Keep it up”. Maya’s parents praised her for her achievement. Her parents were highly educated and thought praising Maya’s achievement would boost her morale and her self-confidence.

“You have scored only 80.” Shouted Alia’s parents. “See now how much your friends have scored. Why are you not good at maths?” Alia was compared to her friend Maya. Her parents told her she was not that good at maths. Asked her to work hard.

Initially, both of them were doing good. Maya kept on scoring in her 90, whereas Alia was keeping up with scores above 80.

But gradually scores of both Maya and Alia started decreasing. None were able to keep up with the expectations of their parents. What went wrong?  

Well, Maya started believing she is God gifted in maths. This notion prevented her from growing her. How? She started skipping every challenging maths problem that she encountered because they were challenging her talented status.  

Alia on the other hand started believing that she is not good at maths. And no matter how hard she tried she will not be able to score well.

If we praise people – they are made to believe they are loved because of their results. They stop trying hard things because they don’t want to fail. This prevents them from getting better.

Now if they are criticized for their results, again they will stop trying – because they lose their self-worth. They start believing they are not good at it.

How Praising the Ability Works Against Us?

It should be common sense that negative Labels are damaging. Let us see how even positive labels can work against us:

Positive Label: “You learned so fast. You are intelligent”

Result: If I don’t learn something fast, I am not intelligent.

Positive Label: “You are talented. You score good marks even without studying”

Result: I should stop studying, or else they won’t think I am talented.

So how to compliment them?

“You learned it so fast. I admire the focus and hard work you have put up for this task”

“The Passion that you have put into playing the music is awesome. I loved it.  How do you feel when you play it?”

Now, what to say if somebody has worked hard but the results didn’t go well?

“The effort was good. It seems we need to work a little harder.”

“Everyone learns differently. Let’s try to find out what works for you”

Conclusion

               Next time we see a dear one accomplishing or struggling with something – instead of labeling them as smart or dumb – compliment the effort they are putting in. The effort we put in to do something never goes to waste. If continued, over time it compounds to give us what we want. This way we do justice to our loved ones.